plead for grace

                 The words that are usually sloshing around in my head have spun into a funnel cloud are furiously twirling through my head, rampaging through every room of my mind, but they've spun themselves to oblivion. All they've left me with is numbness. All these thoughts are going through my mind, yet I can't put any of them together to comprehend how my balloon of happiness popped so suddenly. They say you can't understand someone else's point of view until you've tried climbing around in their skin and I'm trying to but right now I'm stuck in a cell of hurt. I keep pulling at the bars, but the cold metal just stares back taunting me. I'm so lost inside. But the sweet whispering voice in my head keeps saying "trust me".
                  All the numbness and lack of feeling starts to fade. I can feel the blood flowing through my veins again. My body starts to move to the music again. I can start to think clearly than ever, but not into the window of the present. No, that window is forever clouded and covered in a layer of fog. Besides, I don't care to see through that window anymore. Too many people want to know everything this moment, I say one day I'll understand why everything fell into place the way they did, why the puzzle pieces were arranged in the order they were. They were right when they said your life won't suddenly be perfect. But I don't want perfect. It's because of brokenness that we need grace. And I choose that over wordly things any day. I'm being held in the most precious of hands. The numbness has been replaced with love, love that fills me up, filling all the spaces of emptiness from before. My vision of the present is clouded, foggy, always a gaping hole staring back at me. But that isn't what I need to understand. All I need to heal the brokenness is grace. That's all.